


Mood Swings

by dragongirlG



Category: Merlin (TV) RPF
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-07
Updated: 2011-01-07
Packaged: 2019-08-01 18:52:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragongirlG/pseuds/dragongirlG
Summary: When Bradley and Colin filmthe 7th videofor behind-the-scenes series Merlin Quest, Bradley has a slip of the tongue during a staring contest with Colin and begins to rethink his feelings for his co-star.Originally posted as afillon the Merlin Kink Meme for the following prompt: RPF, Bradley/Colin. During the staring contest one of the boys accidentally whispers "you're pretty" to the other.





	Mood Swings

By the time he and Colin reach Challenge Number Seven, Bradley’s tenuous grip on patience has started to thin. He’s finished filming for the day, and his arm is still sore after repeated takes of swinging his sword against French stuntmen meant to play bandits. All he wants to do is take a long, hot shower and collapse onto his bed, maybe after squeezing in an episode or two of _Buffy_. Suffice to say, he’d been none too pleased when Johnny had dragged him aside and told him to meet Colin at the back of the studio instead of sending him back to the hotel. Colin had stood there with his patented grin, cheerful as always despite his workload. He was still dressed in his Merlin costume, and Bradley vaguely recalled from the schedule that Colin still had a few scenes to film with Eoin – probably fighting with wyverns against the green screen. Bradley’s heart had dropped a little when he heard; for the past week, he and Colin had been going home at the same time, exchanging daily stories about the set during the ride, and Colin’s constant support had always taken the edge off his exhaustion.

Bradley watches now as Colin opens one of the seemingly endless envelopes, his brow furrowing as he reads aloud. “You have nicknames on screen,” he says, and Bradley frowns and forces himself to focus as he tries to distinguish the words. He’s become much better at understanding Colin’s accent, but he’s tired and his mind is wandering. He doesn’t want to be here, no matter how much he enjoys spending time with Colin. Colin continues, “Do you have nicknames off screen?”

Bradley pauses for a moment to collect his thoughts, frowning. “I just use various forms of Colin Mor—Col,” he stutters, and he cuts himself off at Colin’s quick nod. Bradley’s surprised. Perhaps Colin wants to finish this as much as he does, even though Colin will never show it.

“Bradley’s worst habit,” Colin continues, glancing upward curiously, and he starts to say something that sounds like a question before Bradley cuts him off.

(It’s not that he’s trying to be rude. He’s just tired. He has enjoyed some of the “quests” so far. Getting to spend time with Colin—and find out more information about him—is always a plus. Colin is so quiet, so reserved, and even after three years Bradley feels like he doesn’t quite know Colin. Colin is studious and polite and shy and a fucking _amazing_ actor who refuses to sing on camera despite some bloody brilliant musical theater performances at the Young and Old Vic, and sometimes Colin says things that make absolutely no sense, which makes Bradley laugh, and when Bradley acts stupid and manages to make Colin laugh something ignites in Bradley’s heart and he wants to keep making Colin laugh forever and ever whenever he sees him—)

All this passes through Bradley’s mind in a flash as he spouts off an answer about interrupting Colin during warm-ups. Colin smiles and chuckles ruefully, and Bradley can’t help the grin that spreads across his face. He quickly turns toward the PA who’s coming forward with yet another envelope. Bradley opens it and raises his eyebrows at the message inside.

“What is it?” asks Colin, peering over his shoulder.

“Thou must participate in a staring contest,” Bradley recites, feeling unaccountably nervous. “Thou must hold each other’s gazes until one of thou laughs. The first person to laugh loses.”

“A staring contest?” Colin repeats, laughing.

“You just laughed!” Bradley exclaims, trying to get rid of his nerves. “You’ve already lost!”

“What – but it hasn’t started yet,” Colin argues, though he’s still laughing. “I’m not even facing you yet.”

“Fine.” Bradley waves a hand imperiously to indicate where Colin should position himself. “All right,” he says, taking a deep breath. “On three. One…two…three.”

Bradley schools his expression into one of complete boredom. It is a look he perfected during secondary school, and one that he uses for the beginning of Arthur’s feast scenes, until something life-threatening and/or magical happens. He tries to think about the hot shower awaiting him as soon as he’s done, about the season finale which they will be filming in a couple of weeks, about his plans for Christmas and whether or not he can successfully get out of attending the annual dysfunctional family dinner, but he continually finds his mind drawn to the bright blue color of Colin’s eyes, made even brighter by the light surrounding them and the laughter that Colin is clearly trying to suppress. Bradley breathes in deeply as a jolt of— _something—_ goes through his body. He sees himself reflected in Colin’s eyes, and a prickling on the back of his neck makes him realize just how close they are standing to each other. In an effort to distract himself, he says sarcastically, “Is this really making compelling viewing for the people back home?”

Colin’s brow furrows thoughtfully. “I looked away,” he says uncertainly, though he’s smirking enough to rival even Katie in her evil Morgana scenes. “Is that—that—”

“You did look away!” Bradley points out, and it comes out a bit higher than normal. “And you’re blinking.”

“It didn’t say to blink,” Colin protests, his voice rising. He’s still smirking, the smug bastard, and Bradley wonders if Colin knows the effect he’s having on his co-star.

“You looked away and you blinked,” Bradley notes triumphantly, and he’s relieved to find his voice back at a normal level. “Are we even allowed to talk? You looked away again!” He wants this to end. His heart seems to want to jump out of his chest; any longer and he might have trouble keeping it in.

“But we can’t,” Colin says through clenched teeth, a giggle bubbling through his words.

Bradley quashes his disappointment, trying to soothe his frayed nerves as he continues to stare into Colin's eyes. They’re blue and expressive, crinkled slightly with mirth and full of some deeper emotion that flickers behind the laughter. Bradley’s heart races and he tilts his head. He crosses his arms tightly and barely manages to keep himself from leaning forward to—to do what?

Panic rises in his gut and he freezes. There’s no way that he was just about to kiss Colin. Absolutely no way. It’d be highly unprofessional, especially on camera (and despite his love for filming the video diaries there’s no way he’d ever record something as intimate as that)—and besides that, he’s certain that he’s straight. He’s aware of what the fans say, about Merlin and Arthur being gay icons and the show having homoerotic subtext (hell, even Katie hints at that when she can)—but he and Colin absolutely do not play their roles that way, and—well—they’re just mates. They have a “bromance,” as the Americans like to call it, but they will never, ever have a romance. They’ll never be lovers. That—that’s just not what they are.

He’d decided to pursue acting because of his ex-girlfriend, for God's sake.

Bradley knows what he needs to do. He needs to end this. Now. Before any more inappropriate thoughts about Colin enter his head and travel straight down to his lower regions. He opens his mouth to crack a joke—something about how much film they must have wasted by now—but what comes out, to his horror, is something completely different. “You’re pretty.”

Colin looks startled. “What?”

“Nothing,” Bradley answers, his mind racing to come up with an excuse.

“Did you just call me ‘pretty’?” Colin says, his smirk returning full force.

Bradley glares. “Of course not.” And just as Colin’s about to start teasing him again, he comes up with a suitable reply. “That’s what I heard one of the fans saying about you yesterday.” He adopts the high-pitched voice he uses especially to talk to Colin. “'Oh, Colin, he’s so pretty with those big blue eyes, he looks like a baby deer—’”

Colin’s cheeks flush. He huffs, and finally he laughs. Bradley has never heard a more beautiful sound. He turns away in relief, doing a mini victory dance as the Great Dragon, as he’s taken to calling the voice, announces that they’ve completed Challenge Number Seven. They move through the next door to Challenge Number Eight. When Bradley brushes Colin’s arm along the way, Colin smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this years ago on the Merlin Kink Meme and then my now-deleted Livejournal account. I recently discovered it on my old laptop and thought I might as well re-upload for archiving purposes, and for people to read if they'd like. It's received minor copy-edits since I originally posted it.
> 
> Comments and/or kudos always welcome. 
> 
> [Tumblr](https://dragongirlg-fics.tumblr.com) | [Dreamwidth](https://dragongirlg.dreamwidth.org) | [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.social/dragongirlg)


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